But because I want to find somewhere quiet. Somewhere nobody needs anything from me. Nobody is asking a question, waiting for an answer, or depending on me to figure something out. Somewhere I can just sit. And be. Without feeling like I should be doing something else.

Even admitting that makes me feel selfish. Because there are people who need me, responsibilities I can't ignore, and a life I've worked hard to build.
 

But sometimes I'm just tired.

Not just the kind of tired that a good night's sleep can fix. Emotionally tired. Physically tired. Tired of questioning myself. Tired of feeling like I'm constantly falling short of expectations that, if I'm being fair, I've probably placed on myself.
 

And maybe the hardest part is that I can recognize how much I have to be grateful for and still feel completely overwhelmed by it all.
 

I think what I'm really searching for is a way to reconnect with myself. I want to find the woman who exists beyond all the responsibilities. The woman who doesn't have to work two jobs just to make ends meet. The woman who can sit with a book for an afternoon without feeling guilty about everything she should be doing instead. The woman who can wake up on a Saturday morning and decide to go somewhere simply because she wants to. Who can explore new places, try new things, or spend an entire day doing absolutely nothing. Not because she's earned it. Not because everything on her to-do list is finished.
 

But simply because it's her life, too.

And somewhere between all of those responsibilities, I find myself holding back. Maybe it's because I'm afraid I won't succeed. Maybe I'm afraid I'm not good enough to do the things I'm dreaming about. Or maybe I'm afraid that if I put too much energy into myself, I'll miss something important somewhere else.
 

What if I'm so busy chasing a dream that I overlook something my kids need? What if I take a chance and it doesn't work out?

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